Do NOT try at home

Posted on October 23, 2007

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To those who say I think about politics too much, here is a cheerfully dumb little post.

I found a teen newsletter in the deli this afternoon. You know the kind, sort of more about the activity, keeping kids off the street, etc. All reasonable goals, of course, but what dull reading. Except of course for this nugget–10 Things NOT to put in a Microwave. I like the me-thinks-she-dost-protest-too-much thing with the all-caps NOT. A sampling of what (NOT) to put in a microwave:

1. Do no put eggs that are still in their shells in the microwave because they will explode.

2. Do not put eggs with shells in small bowl of water into microwave because (if they don’t explode first) when you take it out of the microwave and their shells they will resemble bouncy rubber balls when you drop them.

5. Do not put potatoes that are un-stabbed or un-punctured in the microwave because they will explode.

7. Do not put grapes in the microwave because they will explode.

8. Do not put frozen drinks that are in metallic pouches (i.e. Capri Sun) because they will shoot out a small visible electric current resembling a sideways lightning bolt and is very dangerous.

Yes, they did add that number 8 was dangerous. However, no danger could outweigh the satisfaction of generating a sideways lightning bolt in your own home.

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