“Decision Points”: The Underground Bootleg…Update

Posted on November 9, 2010

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Excerpts from the uncensored bootleg version of Decision Points by George W. Bush. While its well known that Bush Jr. sought to cleanse himself of the massive guilt of being one of the worst Presidents in history, Bush Sr., always looking toward’s history’s verdict, had the original version censored of all damaging material. Who knows how the uncut version made its way out into the public sphere.

From Decision Points :

9/11
The Secret Service wanted to get me to Air Force One, and fast. As the motorcade charged down Florida Route 41, I called Condi from the secure phone in the limo. She told me there had been a third plane crash, this one into the Pentagon. I sat back in my seat and absorbed her words. My thoughts clarified: The first plane could have been an accident. The second was definitely an attack. The third was a declaration of war. After the fifth, I lost count. Those were definitely overkill. Oh, wait, how many planes were there? Read Dick’s memoir on this, he kept better notes.

My blood was boiling. We were going to find out who did this, and kick their ass…then reality set in. That would make no one rich, nor would it make good headlines. And how the hell was I going to invade Iraq if people got that kind of closure? You’ve got to believe, my blood was boiling. But come on now. Halliburton didn’t start off as a small chain of chicken joints with a secret recipe. And I promised Eric Prince’s dad that I’d look after his boy.

I stepped into the presidential cabin and asked to be alone. I had a long talk with Dick on the celly, he started making some calls and promised to figure out how we could get some boots on the ground in Iraq, and how much we could charge the public for those boots. Then I thought about the camera they had on me at that damn school. God, but I must have looked like a royal douche. I started practicing my deep-thoughts face. Its something I’d done every morning during the campaign, but had gotten lazy about. Well, they weren’t going to catch me looking like a chimp undergoing a prostate exam again on the tee vee... Then I thought about the fear that must have seized the passengers on those planes and the grief that would grip the families of the dead. So many people had lost their loved ones with no warning. I prayed that God would comfort the suffering and guide the country through this trial. But that bummed me out, so I played some Doom on the Atari thing they got installed on A-F One. I picked a hell of a time to quit drinking, I thought to myself. But thankfully, the super-sophisticated cocktail of uppers-downers and seratonin reuptake inhibitors that pumps through my veins kept it all in focus. I mean, you do realize that I’m drugged twenty four seven. We all are. How else could beings born of human loins handle the immense guilt that accumulates through years of destroying the world?

 

Update:

Upcoming chapters excerpts:

If I Did It: Confessions of An Electoral Defrauder

“Choking on a Pretzel”, And Other Oval Office In-Jokes

Its Beer-Thirty and They’re Going to Blame it On the Black Guy Anyway: Fighting Senioritis at the White House

 

 

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